Be Vulnerable

Recently a male friend asked me for some girl advice. He's been taking his female friend out on what he calls "friend dates" for a while now. They're dates, ice skating, dinner, etc, but he always tells her that he's asking her out "as a friend." But, he likes her, so this whole "as a friend" thing is problematic. 

His question for me: How do I get her to date me?

Step One: Let her know you like her, ask her out. 

Well, my friend had been doing this, but he needed to make one change: ask her out on a date. NOT a "friend date."

DON'T use the F word (the friend word).

Step Two: Let her know you like her, verbalize. 

I asked my friend if he ever told this girl what he likes about her, "have you ever told her that she's beautiful?"

He said he had told her "I say this as a friend, but you are beautiful/you look beautiful."

Guys. None of this friend stuff. I mean, yes, be a friend, but let her know you want to be more than friends. Without that there will be NO PROGRESS in the relationship.

Step Three: When the time is right, tell her how you feel.

Since they've been going out for a while now and my friend has determined to call up his female "friend" and ask her out. On their next date, he's going to be a man. He's going to become vulnerable and let her know how he feels.

Oh boy, it's scary, I know. I'm awful at being vulnerable. 

(I'm so awful at it that even my bishop gave me a lecture on it...)

I need to take my own advice, I guess.

In short:

She wants to be adored.

She needs to hear what you like about her, why you value her.

She needs to know you think she's beautiful, smart, fun.

She needs to know how you feel about her. Don't hide behind the "friend" mask.

Tell her. If you don't some other guy will, and we all know you don't want that. ;)

Go! Be vulnerable.

-Lady L.

To Date or Not to Date, THAT is the Question

As some of you may know, There has been a recent surge of girls who are preparing to serve  missions for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Yes. That's where all the "all the girls are gone" and "all the girls are leaving" jokes come from. They are funny because they are true.

Anyway, I was browsing Facebook and came across a page for sister missionaries. One of the first things I saw was a post from a girl who said the following:

"Hey ladies, Is dating before the mission okay? It seems right but at the same time it feels wrong."

I was surprised to see how many girls said to not date. There were only a few that said dating before the mission was okay.

So I guess I can commiserate with the fellas. The LDS dating world is not only getting smaller because droves of girls are on missions now, they're short on girls to date because these I-have-my-call and haven't-left-yet ladies think it's wrong to date before their missions. This is absurd.

About a month ago my bishop gave a lesson in our Relief Society meeting. I distinctly remember him saying that "nothing has changed until it's changed," this means that until you're actually set apart as a missionary, it's okay to date!

So guys, ask girls on dates! :) Girls with mission calls, go on dates!

...unless you don't want to, that's fine, that just makes it easier for girls like my friend Lucy. She said "all these girls going on missions is great--I've been asked out on a lot more dates recently (after the mission age for girls changed!)" Even if the shortage of date-able women is doing good things for Lucy, you should still take my advice. Go on dates. :)

Christmas in July: First Kiss Story

Okay, okay, it's not July, but I wrote this post in July. Hence: "Christmas in July" The title just wouldn't sound right if I called it "Christmas in August."

It's been 8 months since this blog began and by now you've heard a few of my dating stories--worst date, best date, etc. But what you haven't heard yet is my first kiss story. I think I'll share, it's a classic.

High school dating is awkward, let's just set that straight from the get-go. It's awkward, and silly, and no one really knows what they're doing. Gerry and I were no exception.

I liked him. He liked me. And for three months, neither of us did anything about it.

On the night of the annual winter music concert I arrived early. I reported to the choir room where the other students were congregated, chattering loudly. I found my place and sat down. While I was waiting, I saw him sneak into the room--he wasn't supposed to be there, and the teacher quickly shooed him out. Before he left, he gave me a wink and a smile.

I performed with my choir, he performed with his group, and then we sat at the back of the auditorium and whispered through the remaining musical numbers. The finale of the night was a  choral and instrumental ensemble performing the "Hallelujah Chorus." Gerry would be contributing with his musical talent on the piano.

I entered the stage and filed onto the riser. The pre-music silence was tangible. I looked over to where Gerry was.

He looked at me.



No, this isn't him. BUT, I did see him from this angle--through the open grand piano.

We sang our Hallelujahs and he played the black and white. We ended gloriously. There was applause. He looked up at me and winked. The choir's Hallelujahs were silenced, but they were just starting up again inside my head.

After the concert I gave him a ride home. It was snowing. Before he got out of the car he hesitated, leaned in and quickly pulled away.

"Goodnight! Thanks for the ride." he said. Then he was gone.

Ah. Well, we flirted some more. and a week later I invited him on a double date.

It was three days before Christmas. My sister's boyfriend drove us to Zupas. Following our dinner we went on a photo scavenger hunt in the local mall.

... it was a marathon date.
After the scavenger hunt we went to my house to make delicious __________ cookies (I don't remember which kind, so we'll make it an interactive post and YOU can choose which kind of cookies we made).

There was much giggling, probably some smearing of flour on faces, and most likely a lot of blushing (on my part).

I gave him his Christmas present. A man-let (a bracelet for a man) and some Burt's Bees lip balm in a bag filled with Hershey's chocolate kisses. (Don't judge, I thought it was a good gift ...at the time. haha)

After we'd had our fill of hot-out-of-the-oven ________ cookies, I drove him home.

It was snowing. It really was a lovely evening.

I pulled into his driveway, he thanked me for a fun night, and got out of the car. I was backing out of the driveway when I noticed him walking back to my car.  I braked, he tapped on the window, I rolled it down.

"Would you like a kiss for Christmas?" he asked.

I smiled.

He leaned in and kissed me.

We said goodnight and I drove home. The falling snow glowed in my headlights and I felt like I was weightless, traveling at the speed of light through a still and starry space.


*pardon the extra cheese at the end of this story. I just couldn't resist.

Date Idea: Bookstore Scavenger Hunt

It's a scavenger hunt! Finding the books helps you get to know your date. I've used it a couple of times and it's fun!  Both times I went to Barnes and Noble, but a library would work too, you'd just have to be quieter. (whisper!)

Here you go:

Find a book …
From your childhood (3 extra points if no one has heard of it)
By an author with your last name
You wished a former roommate had read
You never finished
A book made into a movie (add 1pt if you’ve seen or read it, add 2 if both)
About a deceased US president
That relates to your career path
About a language you wish you knew
With a copyright dated from your birth year (10 pts)
About your favorite sport
About a skill you have
And about a skill you want to have
That could fit in your pocket (don’t try it…)
That inspired you
With a soft cover
With an official award
About war
You both agree everyone should read
A book you don’t mention you’ve read
That costs between $5 and $7
About a place you have lived
You didn’t like
About an instrument you can or have played
With a palm trees on the front
That comes in hard back and paper back
That surprises you in some way
About spies
About the environment
With headless figures on the front
That has a yellow cover
You read in high school
You want to get
About where you served your mission
About how to overcome one of your childhood fears
On a topic that always reminds you of your best friend
By an author that you’ve met
About your favorite animal
About a musical group or singer you’ve heard live
With stripes on the cover
About what you wanted to be when you grew up
Someone recommended to you
You have read from the following Genres:
-Sci-fi
-Adventure
-Biography
-Mystery
Something that relates to an item on your Christmas list
The page number that a famous quote is on
A recipe that includes celery
A map of a place you want to go
A self-help book you could benefit from
One of your favorite books
A play you have been in for 3pts or it not 1pt if you watched it
A picture of your home state’s state flower (are you smarter than a 4th grader?)
3pts to the couple who finds the book with the most pages.______


Have fun!

Be Charming

So, this is a dating blog, and at some point you may have wondered: "who is Lady L. and what qualifies her to write the things she does?"

Nothing, really. She goes on dates, but that's about it. Has she been in numerous relationships? Nope. In fact, she's only twice been involved in anything that might even resemble a real "relationship."

My secret is out.
Call me a fraud if you'd like, just remember--everything I write is my opinion. :) And this is a dating blog, not a relationship blog.

I was walking to the park the other day when I heard someone call out my name.
"Hey, Lady!"
I looked over to where a group of guys were playing soccer. He waved. It was him, the man from my most recent "relationship." Seeing him sparked memories of when we were dating. And I was thinking--no one does everything right in a relationship, but he came pretty darn close.

I'll call him Tyler. Tyler and I met at the very end of the semester. I only sat next to him in class once; we didn't say much, just "hello," I think.

The night before our final exam I was studying in the library and ran into him at the drinking fountain. I asked his name and we chatted about the upcoming final and how poorly we both thought we'd do. That night I added him as a friend on Facebook, (later he told me this was creepy, I'm not entirely sure why...it seemed like a casual way to connect, in my opinion. I mean, I wasn't asking for his number or anything).

The next day arrived. I took my exam and made my way to the library, where I ran into a friend on the stairs. While chatting with my friend, Tyler walked by. I don't remember who spoke first, but we saw each other and chatted briefly about the exam.Tyler, my friend, and I had a lengthy but inconsequential conversation, then parted.

That night Tyler accepted my friend request and messaged me on Facebook.

• Tyler 
  

  
  

  great, now we can be real friends. 
• Lady L.
  

  
  

  Hehe. yeeeeah buddy.  Nah, who are we kidding?? We've been friends forever, right? We go waaay back.... to the beginning of the semester. 
• Tyler
  

  
  

  yeah! remember that one time I was like "hi" and then you were like "hey"
• Lady L.
  

  
  

  We had a connection, you can't blow it off like that, Tyler.

  haha
• Tyler
  

  
  

  I would never! What do you take me for?!
• Lady L.
  

  
  

  Well, you just had me a little concerned. I thought you were being casual about our friendship.

  haha
• Tyler
  

  
  

  Casual? That's the last thing our relationship is!
• Lady L.
  

  
  

  I'm glad we're on the same page. 
• . . .
• 
  December 13, 2012
• Tyler
  

  
  

  Also, since we have a connection, and our relationship is anything but casual, you should go with me tomorrow night?
• Lady L.
  

  
  

  Haha. I'm glad we agree on that.  I wish I could! I have plans tomorrow in the evening. Could we do something another time? I would like that

I didn't go with him to his work party, but I got home from my Friday night event earlier than expected, and I let him know. He came over and we watched one of my favorite movies, Sweet Home Alabama. (While we were picking a movie to watch I discovered that he actually likes some of the same movies that I do. This is surprising because not many guys like the movies that I like--I mean, very few men are understanding of Jane Austen's wit. In any case, I was impressed.) Generally, watching a movie would not be my first choice for a first date because you don't get to talk very much. BUT we talked through the whole movie. Besides, it wasn't a real date, he told me that "it's a date only after I've called you and asked you out." Those are the kinds of dates I like best. :) He earned gentleman points when he said that.

We talked over Christmas break, and the night he got back we went on our first date.  We ate at my favorite restaurant. :)

My favorite date with Tyler was when we made dinner together. I steamed the broccoli and he made sun-dried tomato chicken. (He earned points here, too. I don't like cooking meat.) see Manly Moment #1

After dinner we were sitting on the couch, talking. Nearby was one of my bookshelves, on which was a picture book--The Tempest by William Shakespeare. I jokingly suggested that he read me a story...and he did. That was probably one of the most romantic things anyone has ever done for me. It was simply charming.

Now, my "love language" is quality time. But, it's different for everyone. Find out what your love's love language is, and keep it in mind when you want to do sweet things for  them.


The moral of the story: BE CHARMING

Up Next... "How to NOT Date a 40 Year Old"

It Happened

It happened. My dating blog is influencing the behavior of the guys who ask me out. It's weird to see my own advice being put into action ...on me.

Facebook, Quit Being So Nosy!

Really, Facebook, there are just some things I'd like to keep to myself.

-Lady L.

Manly Moment #2

Manly Moment #2:  I remember the first time Preston spoke to me directly, he said "You look very beautiful today, Lady."

Now, I don't think I really need to explain this manly moment,  but I guess I will. Gentlemen, sincerely telling a lady that she looks beautiful will automatically make the kind of first impression all men want: a good one. That is if you have the guts to do it.

Also, make sure you follow through by planning and executing dates that substantiate the persona you've created with your winning first impression.

Let's take my dates with Preston for an example.

First date: He walked me home from a late night exam review, when we were nearing my apartment he said "I'd like to take you out for dinner this weekend, would Friday be okay?" Although I'm not sure I love the wording of his invitation--he assumed I'd want to go, he didn't really ask--I appreciate his courage and straightforwardness.

We went to dinner at a charming Italian restaurant downtown. The food was delicious, and the ambiance was lovely--there was even a friendly old accordion-playing man wandering between the tables taking song requests. It felt like a scene from Lady and the Tramp. ...except I'm not a dog, he wasn't a tramp, and there were no spaghetti kisses.

Second date: It was Christmas break and he was staying at his parents' house, just a 20-minute drive from my parents' house. He took me to Zupas (my favorite!) for lunch.

In the middle of a very engaging conversation, I realized that he was staring at me. It wasn't a creepy stare, but his gaze was enough for me to cease speaking. As soon as I stopped he said "You are so beautiful."

I blushed.

Third Date: Christmas break, continued.

He picked me up at my parents' house, my mother insisted on meeting him. She was charmed and he smirked and smiled as a young man should when he's meeting a lady's parents.

We were both excited to see the newly-released movie, Les Miserables, and we'd talked about it quite a bit. So, naturally, we went together. And that good, brave man held my hand. *This isn't a movie-review blog, so I won't talk about my opinion of the movie, but I will say this: I was disappointed with it.

Later, over Christmas break I told him that I had a terrible cold. He offered to bring me soup and shovel my snow driveway. Win-ner.

Fourth Date: We returned to College Town and one night he asked me over for a dinner date. He knew I lilked curry (oh! how I love it!) so we made curry together. (If you are comfortable in the kitchen, I strongly reccommend this as a date idea. I loved it.)

Following our scrumptious dinner, we watched Midnight in Paris, a movie he reccommended--he said he thought I'd like it. And like it, I did! I really appreciated that he took my interests into consideration in planning the date.

So there you have it, my experience with a real-life gentleman.


-Lady L.

Monumental.

Take Tarts as Tarts is Passing

My parents own a children's picture book called Take Tarts as Tarts is Passing. (and no, I wrote it correctly. It's "is" not "are," for some silly reason.)

Two brothers set out to make their fortune in the world, each follows an old woman's advice differently. It's a book about taking opportunities when they come to you. For some reason this book reminds me of when I met Aaron. I guess you could say I was a tart--and he took me as I passed.


Ironically, we literally met in passing.

I was taking classes last summer and I was on campus three days per week. Somehow, Aaron was always coming when I was going, and going when I was coming. As a result we saw each other A LOT.

At first we just smiled and kept walking, but after a week or so, he said something like "I see you all the time! I'm Aaron." I replied with something profound like: "I know! I'm Lady L."

Two days later I was headed to campus and he was headed home. He stopped me to talk.
"Lady L, right?"
"Yep!"
"How are you?"

Small talk ensued. (As much as we hate it, it's necessary. It's the truth.)

"Would you like to go out with me this Thursday?" he said.
"I would love to!"

He got my number and each of us continued on our merry way. The next day he called to finalize plans for our date. He let me know that we would be going ice skating. (Bonus points to him for letting me know the activity in advance.)

Thursday. He picked me up. DANG, he looked good in his stripey/plaid button up.

We went on a wonderful date--we talked about school, family, work, his mission (I know that guys often get a bad rap for talking too much about their missions, but, I enjoyed learning about Sweden!) He held my hand ...only because he had to--for stability's sake. I mean, I almost killed myself by falling on the ice! ;)

We had ice cream at his apartment afterwards, and I ate the chocolate peanut butter ice cream even though it's probably my least favorite ice cream.

*I'll admit, I still don't know what to do about this kind of a situation. I'm not allergic to chocolate, I just don't like it. BUT it was the only treat he was offering me. He had very kindly planned the date, but what was I to do? tell him I didn't want it and sit while he and the other couple (we were doubling) ate their ice cream? No, I couldn't do that. I didn't want to be a snob, so I ate it. how would YOU handle the situation?


The epilogue: We hung out a couple more times... He borrowed my brother's dutch ovens and hosted a ward Pioneer Day function... yada yada yada. Bottom line: He never asked me out again and now he's happily married.

It has begun, the guys I've dated are all getting married. Woo. Bring on the wedding season..

Yeah, Mom, I know. I suppose it's a good thing--since people are supposed to get married and all.




So I guess what I'm trying to say is take the opportunities when you see them. DON'T be a chicken. Under other circumstances, if Aaron and I had "clicked," that would have been an awesome story. So... who knows you might as well take a chance.

New on the Blog: Manly Moments

Every Sunday the guys in my ward share "manly moments" from the week and I think it's a brilliant idea for my blog. I've just tweaked it a little bit. The "manly moments," instead of coming from the man, will be recounted from the Lady's (that's me!) perspective. I'll number the manly moments.

I suppose I should start out by defining what I mean by a "manly moment." What constitutes a manly moment? Frankly, it's any shining or positive or outstanding moment that a man has in his life. I'll be talking about manly moments that I've encountered while dating.

#1 One night Tyler and I decided to make dinner together. Manly moment of the night: he cooked the chicken.

I'll explain:

1. Raw meat is gross.

2. Having to touch raw meat is gross

3. Men who can cook get EXTRA bonus points.

4. The chicken was delicious, perfectly seasoned.

So, the first awarded manly moment goes to Tyler for cooking chicken. Bravo!

P.S. I should tell you--each person has his or her own perception of what counts as a real manly moment--on this blog I'll be writing about how I see it.

-Lady L.

Rejection: A Lesson to Learn

One day I was at the gym with a couple of my siblings. I left my phone in the locker room. While I was working out, someone called me and left a voice mail. I listened. It went like this:

"Hey Lady, it's Stephen. I was just calling to see if I could make you dinner on Friday night. Call me back or send me a text and let me know."

Stephen was in my ward, I had interacted with him a few times and I just wasn't interested. I usually go on at least a first date, but there are occasions when I know I'm not interested. On those occasions I don't beat around the bush because I don't want to lead him on or waste my time (or his). So I replied with a text (he gave me the option in his message, otherwise I would have called):

"I'm sorry, I won't be able to, thanks."

*note that I did not add: "Let's shoot for another day, I have plans" or "could we reschedule? That sounds fun."

He texted back: "Once I get my schedule sorted out, would it be okay if we try for next week?"

Argh. I was torn. Should I just be brief and say "no, I don't think so." OR should I not respond? But a lady is direct and kind, and a gentleman understands this--he's tough anyway, he can handle rejection.

After consulting my oh-so-wise brother, I replied to Stephen's query:

"Thank you for for the invitation, it's very flattering, but I'm not interested. Thanks though!"

Direct, but not belittling, and I'm not ignoring him (hey! He gets some points, it takes guts to ask someone out, I should know....)

his reply. "np"  See, he took it like a man.

...or so I thought.

The following Sunday I saw him at church (from a distance). After Sacrament Meeting I went to Sunday school. I sat down and less than 2 minutes later Stephen sat down behind me. He had followed me. I gave him a smile when he sat down, and my friend Nate, sitting next to me, turned to talk to me.

After Sunday school I noticed Stephen lingering on the edge of the room. I wonder, did he want to say something to me? I couldn't imagine what he'd have to say. He turned his face to the wall and leaned his head dejectedly against it. Poor fellow, he looked crushed. But he never approached me and I let it be.

The thought that impelled me to share this story is this: Stephen seemed to be disappointed by rejection--his was a pretty normal reaction. I understand that rejection is hard--I have certainly had my fair share. But what I've realized, after I've had a good pout, is this: I want someone who wants me. I want someone who likes spending time with me. And I should feel the same way about them. I mean, I can just imagine how tiresome life would be if I had to keep convincing my boyfriend or spouse that I'm the one. It would be exhausting. You shouldn't have to persuade someone to love you--know why? Because YOU are awesome.

So, Stephen, I doubt you'll read this, and who knows--you're probably already over this whole situation, but I just wanted to say: Don't worry! Yes, this is rejection and it's hard. But I'm just a speed bump in the road to finding the girl of your dreams; now you're one step closer to finding the girl who wants to be with you. I'm not that girl, but she's out there. Just keep keepin' on, she'll turn up.


Best of luck,

Lady Like

The Brad Pitt Rule: For Guys

Men, this article is accurate. Read it.

I agree with everything that was said, with one exception: there will be occasions that aren't as extreme as a funeral, etc. that she might turn you down for. For example, say she already has a date for Friday night... it would be VERY rude of her to cancel on the date to go out with you, even if she'd PREFER to go out with you. If she's a considerate girl she probably won't drop all her plans just because you asked her out. Besides, you want a woman who keeps her word and doesn't fly into your arms the second you say "hello." A level-headed girl will treat your invitation, and her previous plans, with respect.

But if a girl wants you to ask her out again she will suggest "another time." 

-Lady L.

Relationship Advice

This girl has some funny advice.

You Don't Want to Date Yourself

A lady likes it when a man is interested in what she likes. He doesn't have to love it too, but when she's talking about her interests--he listens, asks questions, and appreciates.

On a recent date a fella and I were chatting over some ice cream. At some point in the conversation he said something like: "we really don't have any common interests." Then he proceeded to explain the difference: he likes golf, watching sports on TV, and science; I like reading and making music and art and cooking and painting and writing and hiking and a lot of things.

I was thinking "Whoa there, we should have differences."

Can you imagine what it would be like to date someone exactly like you? You'd be finishing each other's sentences left and right, not to mention the fact that they'd be using up all your best jokes. You know it would get tedious. Men and women were meant to be different from one another. People were meant to be different from one another. THANK GOODNESS.

Yes, it is important that you have common interests--it's nice to have things you can enjoy talking about and doing together, but not all your interests need to be the same.

Profound, I know. :)

There will be differences. When you find out your date has an affinity for fly fishing or bingo or yoga or Swedish opera or ... heaven forbid... extreme ironing (it's a real thing!), embrace it as one of your differences. Who knows?! you might pick up a new hobby or interest by spending time with that person. You may be surprised and find out you like doing something unusual because  you're with that person.

Haha, I'm rambling again.

-LadyLike

P.S. Don't try this at home.

Appreciate the Good Things: A Gallon of Milk

I must be on a food kick. Jam, now milk? Maybe I'm just hungry.

Last spring/summer I moved into a new ward. I didn't fully appreciate it then, but I am really lucky--the guys in my ward are great. One Sunday evening after gathering together for a ward activity, I struck up a conversation with a young man I hadn't met yet. A few minutes of chatting turned into an hour and a half of conversation, he asked me out for a breakfast date later that week. While wrapping up our conversation I mentioned that I would be waking up early the next morning in order to buy some milk to go with my breakfast cereal.

The next morning he knocked on my door. I opened it to find him standing on my doorstep with a gallon of milk.

*side note to guys: do this.

*side note to girls: if a guy does this for you, kiss him--or at least invite him in for a bowl of cereal (that's what I did).

One morning, later that week, we went on our first date--raspberry & cream crepes and delightful conversation.

A week or so later he asked me to go on a walk.

Next he asked me to go to dinner.

Sounds good, right? That's because it was good. I'm sorry to say I didn't recognize it.

The day of the dinner date came around and I cancelled due to some unfortunately-timed family events. I made sure to let him know I was sorry about cancelling, and I mentioned that I'd like to re-schedule, but he never asked me out again.


Moral of the story:
1. In relationships and dating (actually, this applies to  life in general), learn to recognize the good things so you can enjoy them!
2. Show appreciation when someone does something nice for you.
3. When cancelling a date (if you ever have to), give your date more than 3 hours notice. ...take it from someone who knows. Be considerate.


Also, don't dwell too much on the things you did wrong. Learn from them and just keep swimming.



-LadyLike

What does JAM have to do with DATING?

Have you heard of the Harvard Business School jam study? You haven't? Well, I'll walk you through it.

Pretend  you're at Costco on a Saturday, you're waiting in line for a sample. Today they're sampling gourmet jams. With 18 flavors to sample, you're feeling overwhelmed. Which jam should I sample?  and the ever-looming question: Which jam should I buy?

So, you start sampling. You try half of the jams, or if you're a real trooper, you make it through all of them. By the end you're full of whole-wheat bread and super-sweet fruit jam--your palate has been bombarded by various tastes and you're feeling more confused than you were before the sampling, so you leave the store without buying any jam.

Now, at another Costco store, maybe a couple of cities over, they are sampling jams as well. But the hairnet-clad lady only put out 6 jams for sampling. While she's telling you about the hand-picked boysenberries that went into making the jam you're about to taste, you are already narrowing down your choice: you know that you've always loved strawberry, but you're intrigued by the orange&apricot jam.

You try all 6 flavors, and the decision is easy. Good old strawberry it is. You purchase your jam and happily head for home.

But here's the catch: if you were picking out jam for your aunt's birthday gift, it wouldn't really matter what flavor of jam you chose, right? But you're not choosing  jam for Aunt Petunia and Uncle Vernon (if you were I'd suggest getting the 'Hellish' Jalapeno" flavor). You're choosing jam for YOU.

What does this have to do with dating? Well, it's an analogy. Just like the customers at the 18-sample store, if you have too many dating options you may decide that being single and "dating around" is more fun and easier than choosing just one flavor. But what you might not realize is... you'll be eating dry toast the next morning. Dry. Toast. *cringe*

So, don't give  yourself so many options! Narrow it down. Narrow. It. Down. If you try and taste-test all of the jams you'll:
a) be unable to choose
b) get confused
c) feel sick because of all the flavors churning in your stomach or because you had too much sugar
d) decide you hate jam after all
e) all of the above

Don't try and date everyone in the whole world, it's fruitless. It'll leave you feeling empty and all you'll have to show for it is bunch of shallow relationships and a stomach ache.

So, try a FEW. Take the time to really taste the flavor, it'll be easier to choose your favorite. :) 

Just remember, you are a piece of bread; there are LOTS of jam flavors that could taste good with you; it's just a matter of deciding which flavor compliments you best.

Happy jamming,

Lady L.

P.S. I love apricot jam.