A Lady Enjoys Being Surprised

I found this on my windshield this morning before work. :)

Dating a Real Gentleman

Hello there, it's been a while since we've talked. I'm sorry, I can explain.

And yes, it does involve a man.

My friend invited me to go to church with her one Sunday. I arrived early and waited in the hall until she arrived. Naturally, I looked around me to see what was happening. (I'm a people-watcher.) There was quite a crowd down the hall near the entrance to the chapel. I watched as people moved about, giving hugs, saying hello, and asking about the weekend. For a moment the crowd parted and my gaze met his. (Cheesy and dramatic, I know.) He was standing near the door, handing out Sunday programs. Can I get a "Hello, Handsome?!"

I waited at my end of the hall until my friend arrived, then she and I entered together. Handsome handed my friend a program and he asked if I would like one. I smiled and said I would share with my friend. We went in and sat down. I leaned over to my friend and asked "Who was that in the blue by the door?" She smiled and said "Oh, that's Handsome."

The sacrament meeting started. Mid way through the service, I noticed Handsome sitting near the front. He casually turned around, our eyes met and I smiled. (Actually, I think I accidentally winked.) 

I didn't see him for the rest of the three hour block. Apparently he had left early. I didn't think much of it. I said goodbye to my friend at the end of church and went to the restroom. When I came out, I ran into her in the hall. She pretty much attacked me "DID YOU GET MY TEXT?!"  She then proceeded to tell me that Handsome had texted her and asked about me because he thought I was super cute. :)

The following day my friend gave Hansome my number. He contacted me that day and asked me out for the weekend.

Saturday we went to a Salt Lake Bee's game. We really hit it off. Everything was perfect--the evening even ended with fireworks on the baseball field. Sigh.

We continued to see each other for the next 2 weeks. We didn't have to play the dating game, the  "should I wait to text him/her? I can't see them for another two days--it's too soon" We just spent time together because we wanted to, because we enjoyed each other's company. Things were going well, we were talking every day and it seemed just too good! But one day he told me he didn't feel that it was right for us to keep dating. It was disappointing, to say the least. My recent dating experiences have seemed to go this way: I like him, he likes me. Then a week or two later he isn't dating me anymore. (*Sigh.* One day it'll work out.) (:

My point in sharing all of this isn't to complain, I really can't complain about the good experience I had while dating Handsome. The dates we had were fantastic. He's an amazing person and I am glad I know him. I'm writing this post mostly just to pay tribute to good men. (And to apologize for being blog-absent for so long.)

Even though this relationship didn't work out as I would have liked, I am grateful that I had the experience of dating such a sweet man. It gives me hope for the future (maybe one day I'll find another guy like him!). 

So, Mr. Handsome, thank you for being a gentleman.  Thank you for singing in the car with me. Thank you for treating me with respect. Thank you for being considerate. Thank you for the sweet kisses. ;) Thank you for just being amazing. :) It's refreshing to date someone who is so good.

And so dear readers, though dating may be hard--with its many ups and downs--try to find what's right! Enjoy the ups! Don't worry too much about the downs. Focus on what you're learning and how your experiences are helping you grow. Life presents us with opportunities to learn every single day. So, seize the day! :) Enjoy the moment. Spend time with people you like. Be kind. Reach out. Build yourself and others.

Much love, 

Lady Like

How to Lose a Girl in One Date

You may be familiar with the movie "How to Lose a Guy in 10 Days" starring Kate Hudson and Matthew McConaughey. If you're not familiar with this movie, you should be. It's funny. (Although I may regret recommending this movie because I haven't watched it for over 2 years.) Anyway, to make a long story short, a girl thinks she can lose a guy in 10 days, the guy thinks he can make a girl fall in love with him in 10 days. They just happen to be thrown together, and ...the results? A really funny movie.


While it took Kate Hudson ten strenuous days to lose a guy, a young man I dated quickly lost me after one date.

We were introduced in the produce section of a grocery store. He greeted me with a hug. Charm was almost literally dripping from his sleeve. He was handsome. Smart. Witty. Easy to talk to.

A week later we went on our first date.

A week after that we had a second.

Each date just got better.

I don't know that I've ever met someone that I hit it off with so quickly. I laughed more on those two dates with him than I did on my last 20 dates combined. He expressed his interest openly, I expressed mine. I was completely comfortable and felt like I could really be myself around him. It was a modern-day dating miracle. I had found Prince Charming.

Or so I thought.

The third date happened a week later--I asked him to go to a soccer game. Things had been going well, so I stepped into the waters of vulnerability. (Maybe this was a mistake?)

It felt like a first date with a stranger. The familiarity of the previous dates was gone. He didn't flirt. He had his phone out--snapchat. He asked me to meet up with him at a rendezvous spot before getting to the game, nullifying his previous statement about how a guy should always drive/pick up the girl. At the end of the date he dropped me off at my car and I got a seat-belted side-hug while still sitting in the car.

Utterly baffled, I drove myself home.

What had changed?

I mean, on our second date he pretty much said he felt like it was love at first sight. A little cliche, but surprisingly attractive of him to say. (I'm usually not the overly-sappy, mushy-gushy type.) The next day our mutual friend (the one who introduced us) informed me that Sir Prince Charming was now seriously dating another girl. The cold-shoulder treatment and 180-turn around was explained. ONE DAY after our last date he was holding hands with another girl in church. In my 'umble opinion, if he was seriously dating (or even on the verge of seriously dating) another girl he shouldn't have accepted a date with me.


I'll admit, I was hurt. He is a good person, but I don't think the last date was necessarily his brightest moment.

Moral of the  story is:

"When you've decided you don't like a girl, then it's okay to stop being a gentleman." said no lady ever.

Be honest. Be considerate. Be yourself (it'll come through eventually).

Musings on Dating.

Today's thoughts on dating.

1. Dating can be disappointing, but don't forget that the future is as bright as your faith! When disappointment comes, square your shoulders, think positively, and reflect on when you've gotten through something hard before. It will be okay. You can do this.

2. Be yourself. Don't pretend to be someone you're not. Make the decision to be happy being you. You'll be glad you did. :)

3. If someone mistreats you, don't let them make you feel inferior. You are worth more than the way they treat you. You deserve someone who shows you respect and consideration. True love is based on trust, respect, kindness, and friendship. If he or she doesn't give you these things... it's not worth it. Period.

4. Be confident. You are valued. You have characteristics, talents, traits, and views that are unique to YOU. Rock your style. Brandish your personality proudly! You are awesome. :)

5. Have fun. :) Don't take life too seriously. Laugh at your mistakes (we all make mistakes, in dating ...and life in general.) Smile more often. :) There's nothing more attractive than a happy person. 

Mwah! I love you all, dear readers. Have a LOVELY day. 

The Rules of Dating--Are They Really Necessary?

Yesterday I was visiting with a friend and subject of "dating rules" came up. And I thought I would pose these questions and ask for some discussion/comments.

Are there concrete dating rules? 

Should there be? 

Some rules are written and some are unwritten--which are an absolute necessary?

Are dating rules restrictions that are merely concocted to give an individual the feeling or sense that they are in control? 

Or do rules create a false standard of expectation?

Have you been frustrated with dating rules?

Are you grateful for dating rules?

What is the difference between a concrete rule and simple etiquette?

What do you think? I'm interested in hearing your views!

Overcoming the "Yes Man" Disorder

She hung up the phone.

"I hate dating!" the lady said while staring up at the ceiling from the kitchen floor.

Another invitation accepted.

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I remember a conversation I had with a friend about a year ago. We were talking about dating and marriage. He said "I want to get married, I just wish I could skip the dating part." I now know exactly what he meant. 

The games. The small talk.  The uncertainty. The waiting. The wishing. The conventions. The rules (written and unwritten). The obligations. The highs! 

and the lows.

...Making decisions in general. Being rejected. And rejecting others. 

It gets tiring.

Rejection. We all face it and it's never pleasant. When we are the individual doing the rejecting its even less pleasant. In fact, a lot of the time you leave the situation feeling like dirt--even when its for the best. 

This happened to me recently. I was dating a young man, we had been going on dates for a few weeks, but had been getting to know each other via letter for about a year before that. We were good friends and when I returned home, naturally I wanted to see what would happen. We went on a multiple dates over the course of a few weeks.

We were talking in the car after a lovely evening out on the town when he asked me about the status of our relationship. He was ready to date me--and only me. So the ball was in my court; I needed to make a decision. (oh! the dreaded ultimatum.) With that weighing heavily on my heart he walked me to the door.

I did what a good lady should. I gave it some time. I thought about it. I prayed about it. And my conclusion was that I shouldn't go on with the relationship. 

I had my answer, but telling him was still difficult. I told him that I didn't feel right about continuing the relationship. He was understanding and said that he had been thinking about it and had talked to some people and felt the same way. It should have made me feel better, but I still bawled after he closed the door behind me. 

Yup. I felt like dirt.

It's never easy to say goodbye to someone you care about.

The question: is there a good way to say "no?"

Whether you're ending or averting a relationship, saying no can be difficult. In an attempt to avoid the unpleasantness of saying "no," some people develop what I call the "yes man disorder." (Sometimes I think it might just be people with a certain personality type that have this problem.) "Yes Man" is a disorder that causes young ladies to say "yes" to everyone who asks her out. I, unfortunately, have this disorder. Which is why, over the past few weeks I have said "yes" to more dates than you want to know about, and more than I care to talk about.

As I have been thinking about the "Yes Man" Disorder, I came up with a few steps to help myself (and others struggling with YMD) to recover and create a happy and "yes"-balanced life.

Classy Graphics by Lady L.

How to overcome the "Yes Man" Disorder:

Step 1: Recognition

Admit that you have a problem--you are powerless over saying "no" to a guy who asks you out.

Step 2: Believe

Believe that there is hope for you to change. There are big, bright NO's at the end of the dark YES tunnel.

Step 3: Decide

Make a decision to turn your life around and say "no." Let's practice it right now! 1, 2, 3, "NO!" (If you refused to do it, congratulations! You said no through your indifference. Tricked you!)

Step 4: Search

Identify when you are most likely to say "yes"against your better judgement, and then search for alternative options (a.k.a. ways to say "no.")  I'll help you out here, my brother and I came up with these examples of how to say no to a date/relationship: "I'm sorry, that time isn't going to work for me." Use it a couple of times. He'll get the picture. OR "I don't want to take advantage of your kindness, I had better decline." OR "I appreciate our time together, but I think I am going to go a different direction." OR "I'm sorry, I don't think we're headed in the same direction in life." (That one was given to me by a trusted adviser.)

Photo: Google

Step 5: Locate Target for Practice

Find an empty wall, a department store mannequin, or a picture of Brad Pitt in a magazine. (What was that you said? You don't want to turn down Brad Pitt? ...Now darling, remember this: if you can turn down Brad Pitt, you can turn down any man. It's good practice. Carry on.) Once you've found your picture proceed to Step 6.

Step 6: Practice

Look at your target, take a deep breath, and say "NO!" and then pick one of your premeditated phrases and use one of those. (Each phrase will have a varying level of "NO-ness." Make sure you pick on that's appropriate.)

Step 7: Celebrate

When you have had some success with your practicing make sure to celebrate! You are doing great! (This might be an emotional strain for some of you, that's okay. If it's exhausting to you, just pull out the ice cream, Oreos and peanut butter!) Keep up the momentum, girl! You can do this!!

Step 8: Re-evaluate

Now that you've practiced and celebrated, re-evaluate your progress. Are you where you would like to be in your nay-saying? If not, make some new goals. :)

Step 9: Apply Yourself

The next step is to use your new skill in real-life situations. Continue to practice these principles in all your dating affairs. (No pun intended.)

You are now on your way to a happy and balanced yes-and-no life. :) Congrats.

Much "'NO' love,"

Lady L.



**Side note: I haven't wanted to say no to very many guys--the ones who ask me out are usually really great. But when I do have to say no, it's difficult.

Wedding Season--Coming Soon!

I really should keep a tally of how many of my friends are engaged. It's incredible. There must be something in the air, I mean, something besides pollen. Either that or it's the pollen from the wedding tree. (I don't think that's a real thing.)


...Just Googled it. It's a real thing. What is this world coming to!?

Last week I received my first wedding invitation in the mail since returning home. And BOY OH BOY, I can't believe it--I mean, I dated this guy and now.... *shudder*

Now, before you get the wrong idea, I had better clarify. I am all for marriage and weddings. (I mean, I've only been planning mine since I was five...) BUT I find it astonishing just how quickly my social circle is approaching nuptials.

Now, for the fun part:

My sister shared this video with me yesterday. I thought it was just too funny to not share.

With the wedding season approaching quickly, I will give you some famous words of advice: May the odds be ever in your favor.


-Lady L.