Be Charming

So, this is a dating blog, and at some point you may have wondered: "who is Lady L. and what qualifies her to write the things she does?"

Nothing, really. She goes on dates, but that's about it. Has she been in numerous relationships? Nope. In fact, she's only twice been involved in anything that might even resemble a real "relationship."

My secret is out.
Call me a fraud if you'd like, just remember--everything I write is my opinion. :) And this is a dating blog, not a relationship blog.

I was walking to the park the other day when I heard someone call out my name.
"Hey, Lady!"
I looked over to where a group of guys were playing soccer. He waved. It was him, the man from my most recent "relationship." Seeing him sparked memories of when we were dating. And I was thinking--no one does everything right in a relationship, but he came pretty darn close.

I'll call him Tyler. Tyler and I met at the very end of the semester. I only sat next to him in class once; we didn't say much, just "hello," I think.

The night before our final exam I was studying in the library and ran into him at the drinking fountain. I asked his name and we chatted about the upcoming final and how poorly we both thought we'd do. That night I added him as a friend on Facebook, (later he told me this was creepy, I'm not entirely sure why...it seemed like a casual way to connect, in my opinion. I mean, I wasn't asking for his number or anything).

The next day arrived. I took my exam and made my way to the library, where I ran into a friend on the stairs. While chatting with my friend, Tyler walked by. I don't remember who spoke first, but we saw each other and chatted briefly about the exam.Tyler, my friend, and I had a lengthy but inconsequential conversation, then parted.

That night Tyler accepted my friend request and messaged me on Facebook.

• Tyler 
  

  
  

  great, now we can be real friends. 
• Lady L.
  

  
  

  Hehe. yeeeeah buddy.  Nah, who are we kidding?? We've been friends forever, right? We go waaay back.... to the beginning of the semester. 
• Tyler
  

  
  

  yeah! remember that one time I was like "hi" and then you were like "hey"
• Lady L.
  

  
  

  We had a connection, you can't blow it off like that, Tyler.

  haha
• Tyler
  

  
  

  I would never! What do you take me for?!
• Lady L.
  

  
  

  Well, you just had me a little concerned. I thought you were being casual about our friendship.

  haha
• Tyler
  

  
  

  Casual? That's the last thing our relationship is!
• Lady L.
  

  
  

  I'm glad we're on the same page. 
• . . .
• 
  December 13, 2012
• Tyler
  

  
  

  Also, since we have a connection, and our relationship is anything but casual, you should go with me tomorrow night?
• Lady L.
  

  
  

  Haha. I'm glad we agree on that.  I wish I could! I have plans tomorrow in the evening. Could we do something another time? I would like that

I didn't go with him to his work party, but I got home from my Friday night event earlier than expected, and I let him know. He came over and we watched one of my favorite movies, Sweet Home Alabama. (While we were picking a movie to watch I discovered that he actually likes some of the same movies that I do. This is surprising because not many guys like the movies that I like--I mean, very few men are understanding of Jane Austen's wit. In any case, I was impressed.) Generally, watching a movie would not be my first choice for a first date because you don't get to talk very much. BUT we talked through the whole movie. Besides, it wasn't a real date, he told me that "it's a date only after I've called you and asked you out." Those are the kinds of dates I like best. :) He earned gentleman points when he said that.

We talked over Christmas break, and the night he got back we went on our first date.  We ate at my favorite restaurant. :)

My favorite date with Tyler was when we made dinner together. I steamed the broccoli and he made sun-dried tomato chicken. (He earned points here, too. I don't like cooking meat.) see Manly Moment #1

After dinner we were sitting on the couch, talking. Nearby was one of my bookshelves, on which was a picture book--The Tempest by William Shakespeare. I jokingly suggested that he read me a story...and he did. That was probably one of the most romantic things anyone has ever done for me. It was simply charming.

Now, my "love language" is quality time. But, it's different for everyone. Find out what your love's love language is, and keep it in mind when you want to do sweet things for  them.


The moral of the story: BE CHARMING

Up Next... "How to NOT Date a 40 Year Old"

It Happened

It happened. My dating blog is influencing the behavior of the guys who ask me out. It's weird to see my own advice being put into action ...on me.

Facebook, Quit Being So Nosy!

Really, Facebook, there are just some things I'd like to keep to myself.

-Lady L.

Manly Moment #2

Manly Moment #2:  I remember the first time Preston spoke to me directly, he said "You look very beautiful today, Lady."

Now, I don't think I really need to explain this manly moment,  but I guess I will. Gentlemen, sincerely telling a lady that she looks beautiful will automatically make the kind of first impression all men want: a good one. That is if you have the guts to do it.

Also, make sure you follow through by planning and executing dates that substantiate the persona you've created with your winning first impression.

Let's take my dates with Preston for an example.

First date: He walked me home from a late night exam review, when we were nearing my apartment he said "I'd like to take you out for dinner this weekend, would Friday be okay?" Although I'm not sure I love the wording of his invitation--he assumed I'd want to go, he didn't really ask--I appreciate his courage and straightforwardness.

We went to dinner at a charming Italian restaurant downtown. The food was delicious, and the ambiance was lovely--there was even a friendly old accordion-playing man wandering between the tables taking song requests. It felt like a scene from Lady and the Tramp. ...except I'm not a dog, he wasn't a tramp, and there were no spaghetti kisses.

Second date: It was Christmas break and he was staying at his parents' house, just a 20-minute drive from my parents' house. He took me to Zupas (my favorite!) for lunch.

In the middle of a very engaging conversation, I realized that he was staring at me. It wasn't a creepy stare, but his gaze was enough for me to cease speaking. As soon as I stopped he said "You are so beautiful."

I blushed.

Third Date: Christmas break, continued.

He picked me up at my parents' house, my mother insisted on meeting him. She was charmed and he smirked and smiled as a young man should when he's meeting a lady's parents.

We were both excited to see the newly-released movie, Les Miserables, and we'd talked about it quite a bit. So, naturally, we went together. And that good, brave man held my hand. *This isn't a movie-review blog, so I won't talk about my opinion of the movie, but I will say this: I was disappointed with it.

Later, over Christmas break I told him that I had a terrible cold. He offered to bring me soup and shovel my snow driveway. Win-ner.

Fourth Date: We returned to College Town and one night he asked me over for a dinner date. He knew I lilked curry (oh! how I love it!) so we made curry together. (If you are comfortable in the kitchen, I strongly reccommend this as a date idea. I loved it.)

Following our scrumptious dinner, we watched Midnight in Paris, a movie he reccommended--he said he thought I'd like it. And like it, I did! I really appreciated that he took my interests into consideration in planning the date.

So there you have it, my experience with a real-life gentleman.


-Lady L.

Monumental.

Take Tarts as Tarts is Passing

My parents own a children's picture book called Take Tarts as Tarts is Passing. (and no, I wrote it correctly. It's "is" not "are," for some silly reason.)

Two brothers set out to make their fortune in the world, each follows an old woman's advice differently. It's a book about taking opportunities when they come to you. For some reason this book reminds me of when I met Aaron. I guess you could say I was a tart--and he took me as I passed.


Ironically, we literally met in passing.

I was taking classes last summer and I was on campus three days per week. Somehow, Aaron was always coming when I was going, and going when I was coming. As a result we saw each other A LOT.

At first we just smiled and kept walking, but after a week or so, he said something like "I see you all the time! I'm Aaron." I replied with something profound like: "I know! I'm Lady L."

Two days later I was headed to campus and he was headed home. He stopped me to talk.
"Lady L, right?"
"Yep!"
"How are you?"

Small talk ensued. (As much as we hate it, it's necessary. It's the truth.)

"Would you like to go out with me this Thursday?" he said.
"I would love to!"

He got my number and each of us continued on our merry way. The next day he called to finalize plans for our date. He let me know that we would be going ice skating. (Bonus points to him for letting me know the activity in advance.)

Thursday. He picked me up. DANG, he looked good in his stripey/plaid button up.

We went on a wonderful date--we talked about school, family, work, his mission (I know that guys often get a bad rap for talking too much about their missions, but, I enjoyed learning about Sweden!) He held my hand ...only because he had to--for stability's sake. I mean, I almost killed myself by falling on the ice! ;)

We had ice cream at his apartment afterwards, and I ate the chocolate peanut butter ice cream even though it's probably my least favorite ice cream.

*I'll admit, I still don't know what to do about this kind of a situation. I'm not allergic to chocolate, I just don't like it. BUT it was the only treat he was offering me. He had very kindly planned the date, but what was I to do? tell him I didn't want it and sit while he and the other couple (we were doubling) ate their ice cream? No, I couldn't do that. I didn't want to be a snob, so I ate it. how would YOU handle the situation?


The epilogue: We hung out a couple more times... He borrowed my brother's dutch ovens and hosted a ward Pioneer Day function... yada yada yada. Bottom line: He never asked me out again and now he's happily married.

It has begun, the guys I've dated are all getting married. Woo. Bring on the wedding season..

Yeah, Mom, I know. I suppose it's a good thing--since people are supposed to get married and all.




So I guess what I'm trying to say is take the opportunities when you see them. DON'T be a chicken. Under other circumstances, if Aaron and I had "clicked," that would have been an awesome story. So... who knows you might as well take a chance.

New on the Blog: Manly Moments

Every Sunday the guys in my ward share "manly moments" from the week and I think it's a brilliant idea for my blog. I've just tweaked it a little bit. The "manly moments," instead of coming from the man, will be recounted from the Lady's (that's me!) perspective. I'll number the manly moments.

I suppose I should start out by defining what I mean by a "manly moment." What constitutes a manly moment? Frankly, it's any shining or positive or outstanding moment that a man has in his life. I'll be talking about manly moments that I've encountered while dating.

#1 One night Tyler and I decided to make dinner together. Manly moment of the night: he cooked the chicken.

I'll explain:

1. Raw meat is gross.

2. Having to touch raw meat is gross

3. Men who can cook get EXTRA bonus points.

4. The chicken was delicious, perfectly seasoned.

So, the first awarded manly moment goes to Tyler for cooking chicken. Bravo!

P.S. I should tell you--each person has his or her own perception of what counts as a real manly moment--on this blog I'll be writing about how I see it.

-Lady L.