Monday, March 30, 2015

Wedding Season--Coming Soon!

I really should keep a tally of how many of my friends are engaged. It's incredible. There must be something in the air, I mean, something besides pollen. Either that or it's the pollen from the wedding tree. (I don't think that's a real thing.)


...Just Googled it. It's a real thing. What is this world coming to!?



Last week I received my first wedding invitation in the mail since returning home. And BOY OH BOY, I can't believe it--I mean, I dated this guy and now.... *shudder*

Now, before you get the wrong idea, I had better clarify. I am all for marriage and weddings. (I mean, I've only been planning mine since I was five...) BUT I find it astonishing just how quickly my social circle is approaching nuptials.

Now, for the fun part:

My sister shared this video with me yesterday. I thought it was just too funny to not share.


With the wedding season approaching quickly, I will give you some famous words of advice: May the odds be ever in your favor.


-Lady L.

Tuesday, March 24, 2015

Which Suitor is Suitable?



Some self-talk from Lady L.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

The pressure is on.

Now that Lady L. has returned from her arduous journey, everyone asks "what's next?"

That is the question.

Well, let me tell you. I'm working on it! Life just comes at you, and you have to deal with it. Since returning from my journey, I have been  on a few dates with a few different men. And, like any normal nice lady, I see good in all the young men. The problem is, I'm not planning on splitting my heart that many times. (No Voldemort-horcrux action going on here today!)

After Friday night's dinner, my date and I had a discussion about where the relationship was going. And I honestly didn't have an answer for him. I told him I would think and pray about it and get back to him.

So here's the question. How do I pick which suitor suits me best? None of them are perfect, I know that. I don't expect it. Yet, I feel that they each have individual value to me. I obviously can't date them all.

Sometimes I wish my life were like a fairy tale--when the princess has multiple suitors, the king just sends the suitors on a quest, some sort of challenge to prove their worthiness. The victor then wins the princess as his prize. Voila! The suitor and the princess are married. Whether he is a kind and impressive prince from a faraway kingdom, or an underdog peasant with excellent wit and determination, the princess and her love are united. And they both live happily ever after.

Unfortunately life doesn't work that way. This Lady's father wouldn't set up a quest like that, and she probably wouldn't like whoever won the contest anyway.



The key lies in one (sometimes frustrating) principle: agency.

Ladies need to decide what they want for their lives! Create a vision. Set goals. Develop talents and gifts. Find what makes you happy--then do it! As ladies do this they should consider what kind of man would fit into the life/lifestyle they have envisioned. Then, they should choose accordingly.

Simple enough, right?

It is, but putting it into practice can be difficult--especially when emotional attachments form.

Good luck, Lady!

Sincerely,


Lady L.




Photo credit: Google


Tuesday, March 17, 2015

The Lady Returns After a Lengthy Journey

"Every object in the next ... journey was new and interesting to [Lady Like] and her spirits were in a state of enjoyment; for [life was] looking so well as to banish all fear for her [future], and the prospect of her [new adventures] was a constant source of delight."-Pride and Prejudice, Chapter 28


Life is full of wonderful surprises. One of mine came in the form of an opportunity to go on a lengthy journey to share the richest parts of my life with others in another part of the country. These past months were full of sharing ideas, experiences, stories, feelings, love, impressions, knowledge, self,  and learning much more. I have grown in ways I cannot explain. 

And now I am back. With the hem of my "petticoat, six inches deep in mud, I am absolutely certain."-Pride and Prejudice
What does that mean, exactly? It means the writing can recommence! This lady is a different lady now! With a new perspective and an entirely new living situation. I am no longer parading around the courts of a university campus, but have entered the realm of ...the unknown! New spheres of sociability, new men, new challenges, new everything!  

I hope you'll join me for my new adventure. 


Image credit: All Posters

Wednesday, August 14, 2013

Be Vulnerable








Recently a male friend asked me for some girl advice. He's been taking his female friend out on what he calls "friend dates" for a while now. They're dates, ice skating, dinner, etc, but he always tells her that he's asking her out "as a friend." But, he likes her, so this whole "as a friend" thing is problematic. 

His question for me: How do I get her to date me?

Step One: Let her know you like her, ask her out. 

Well, my friend had been doing this, but he needed to make one change: ask her out on a date. NOT a "friend date."

DON'T use the F word (the friend word).

Step Two: Let her know you like her, verbalize. 

I asked my friend if he ever told this girl what he likes about her, "have you ever told her that she's beautiful?"

He said he had told her "I say this as a friend, but you are beautiful/you look beautiful."

Guys. None of this friend stuff. I mean, yes, be a friend, but let her know you want to be more than friends. Without that there will be NO PROGRESS in the relationship.

Step Three: When the time is right, tell her how you feel.

Since they've been going out for a while now and my friend has determined to call up his female "friend" and ask her out. On their next date, he's going to be a man. He's going to become vulnerable and let her know how he feels.

Oh boy, it's scary, I know. I'm awful at being vulnerable. 

(I'm so awful at it that even my bishop gave me a lecture on it...)

I need to take my own advice, I guess.

In short:

She wants to be adored.
She needs to hear what you like about her, why you value her.
She needs to know you think she's beautiful, smart, fun.
She needs to know how you feel about her. Don't hide behind the "friend" mask.

Tell her. If you don't some other guy will, and we all know you don't want that. ;)

Go! Be vulnerable.

-Lady L.

Saturday, August 10, 2013

To Date or Not to Date, THAT is the Question


As some of you may know, There has been a recent surge of girls who are preparing to serve  missions for the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints.

Yes. That's where all the "all the girls are gone" and "all the girls are leaving" jokes come from. They are funny because they are true.

Anyway, I was browsing Facebook and came across a page for sister missionaries. One of the first things I saw was a post from a girl who said the following:

"Hey ladies, Is dating before the mission okay? It seems right but at the same time it feels wrong."

I was surprised to see how many girls said to not date. There were only a few that said dating before the mission was okay.

So I guess I can commiserate with the fellas. The LDS dating world is not only getting smaller because droves of girls are on missions now, they're short on girls to date because these I-have-my-call and haven't-left-yet ladies think it's wrong to date before their missions. This is absurd.

About a month ago my bishop gave a lesson in our Relief Society meeting. I distinctly remember him saying that "nothing has changed until it's changed," this means that until you're actually set apart as a missionary, it's okay to date!

So guys, ask girls on dates! :) Girls with mission calls, go on dates!

...unless you don't want to, that's fine, that just makes it easier for girls like my friend Lucy. She said "all these girls going on missions is great--I've been asked out on a lot more dates recently (after the mission age for girls changed!)" Even if the shortage of date-able women is doing good things for Lucy, you should still take my advice. Go on dates. :)

Tuesday, August 6, 2013

Christmas in July: First Kiss Story



Okay, okay, it's not July, but I wrote this post in July. Hence: "Christmas in July" The title just wouldn't sound right if I called it "Christmas in August."

It's been 8 months since this blog began and by now you've heard a few of my dating stories--worst date, best date, etc. But what you haven't heard yet is my first kiss story. I think I'll share, it's a classic.

High school dating is awkward, let's just set that straight from the get-go. It's awkward, and silly, and no one really knows what they're doing. Gerry and I were no exception.

I liked him. He liked me. And for three months, neither of us did anything about it.

On the night of the annual winter music concert I arrived early. I reported to the choir room where the other students were congregated, chattering loudly. I found my place and sat down. While I was waiting, I saw him sneak into the room--he wasn't supposed to be there, and the teacher quickly shooed him out. Before he left, he gave me a wink and a smile.

I performed with my choir, he performed with his group, and then we sat at the back of the auditorium and whispered through the remaining musical numbers. The finale of the night was a  choral and instrumental ensemble performing the "Hallelujah Chorus." Gerry would be contributing with his musical talent on the piano.

I entered the stage and filed onto the riser. The pre-music silence was tangible. I looked over to where Gerry was.

He looked at me.



No, this isn't him. BUT, I did see him from this angle--through the open grand piano.

We sang our Hallelujahs and he played the black and white. We ended gloriously. There was applause. He looked up at me and winked. The choir's Hallelujahs were silenced, but they were just starting up again inside my head.

After the concert I gave him a ride home. It was snowing. Before he got out of the car he hesitated, leaned in and quickly pulled away.

"Goodnight! Thanks for the ride." he said. Then he was gone.

Ah. Well, we flirted some more. and a week later I invited him on a double date.

It was three days before Christmas. My sister's boyfriend drove us to Zupas. Following our dinner we went on a photo scavenger hunt in the local mall.

... it was a marathon date.
After the scavenger hunt we went to my house to make delicious __________ cookies (I don't remember which kind, so we'll make it an interactive post and YOU can choose which kind of cookies we made).

There was much giggling, probably some smearing of flour on faces, and most likely a lot of blushing (on my part).

I gave him his Christmas present. A man-let (a bracelet for a man) and some Burt's Bees lip balm in a bag filled with Hershey's chocolate kisses. (Don't judge, I thought it was a good gift ...at the time. haha)

After we'd had our fill of hot-out-of-the-oven ________ cookies, I drove him home.

It was snowing. It really was a lovely evening.

I pulled into his driveway, he thanked me for a fun night, and got out of the car. I was backing out of the driveway when I noticed him walking back to my car.  I braked, he tapped on the window, I rolled it down.

"Would you like a kiss for Christmas?" he asked.

I smiled.

He leaned in and kissed me.

We said goodnight and I drove home. The falling snow glowed in my headlights and I felt like I was weightless, traveling at the speed of light through a still and starry space.


*pardon the extra cheese at the end of this story. I just couldn't resist.

Thursday, August 1, 2013

Date Idea: Bookstore Scavenger Hunt



It's a scavenger hunt! Finding the books helps you get to know your date. I've used it a couple of times and it's fun!  Both times I went to Barnes and Noble, but a library would work too, you'd just have to be quieter. (whisper!)

Here you go:

Find a book …
From your childhood (3 extra points if no one has heard of it)
By an author with your last name
You wished a former roommate had read
You never finished
A book made into a movie (add 1pt if you’ve seen or read it, add 2 if both)
About a deceased US president
That relates to your career path
About a language you wish you knew
With a copyright dated from your birth year (10 pts)
About your favorite sport
About a skill you have
And about a skill you want to have
That could fit in your pocket (don’t try it…)
That inspired you
With a soft cover
With an official award
About war
You both agree everyone should read
A book you don’t mention you’ve read
That costs between $5 and $7
About a place you have lived
You didn’t like
About an instrument you can or have played
With a palm trees on the front
That comes in hard back and paper back
That surprises you in some way
About spies
About the environment
With headless figures on the front
That has a yellow cover
You read in high school
You want to get
About where you served your mission
About how to overcome one of your childhood fears
On a topic that always reminds you of your best friend
By an author that you’ve met
About your favorite animal
About a musical group or singer you’ve heard live
With stripes on the cover
About what you wanted to be when you grew up
Someone recommended to you
You have read from the following Genres:
-Sci-fi
-Adventure
-Biography
-Mystery
Something that relates to an item on your Christmas list
The page number that a famous quote is on
A recipe that includes celery
A map of a place you want to go
A self-help book you could benefit from
One of your favorite books
A play you have been in for 3pts or it not 1pt if you watched it
A picture of your home state’s state flower (are you smarter than a 4th grader?)
3pts to the couple who finds the book with the most pages.______


Have fun!