Friday, March 29, 2013

Favorite Date (so far)

This man did some things right. Actually, a lot of things. I shall number them out.

Thursday night, I was home alone doing homework when there was a knock at the door. When I opened the door, there he was, standing in all his handsome glory--the boy from across the street. I invited him in and we proceeded to chat, he said he had just come by to say hello. (I didn't mind.) We had been talking about school for a few minutes when he noticed my bird painting sitting on the bookshelf and made a comment about it. Then he asked if I would like to go on a date with him the following night. I said I'd love to, we said goodbye, and he left.

What he did right:
1. He asked me in person.

The next day, in the morning, he sent me a text to ask if I was allergic to any kind of ice cream. I told him I wasn't. (Thank goodness I'm not!)

2. I was impressed that he checked to see if what he was planning for the date would be okay.

He informed me of what time our date would be.

3. It's nice to know the time of the date in advance.

4. He picked me up on time. (I'm really glad he remembered that he had asked me out. For a horror story of being stood up, see the post, A Lady Likes a Reliable Man).

5. He opened the car door for me.

We drove to the university's museum of art and had a wonderful time looking at and talking about the art. Our conversation was interesting and he was pleasant to be around. After going to the museum we drove back to his apartment and did our own watercolor paintings. Each of us drew our dream house. Mine was a treehouse (I'll have to attach a picture for you, it's really quite charming, haha).


6. Either he did his research, or he got lucky with his choice of activity. I'm interested in art and enjoy painting, so the activity was one where I would be comfortable and have fun.

While we were waiting for our paintings to dry we indulged in some delicious s'mores ice cream.

7. It was a good choice because it didn't have a lot of chocolate in it. (I don't like chocolate--it's surprising, I know. And, yes, I am a girl. For some reason people always ask me that when I tell them I don't lie chocolate, it's strange). Guys, if you aren't going to ask the girl what kind of ice cream she likes, at least pick something generally "safe"--probably something not too chocolaty, and peanut/nut-free are good choices. When it comes to chocolate, you either love it or you hate it, and lots of people have peanut/nut allergies. If you're making them dinner, you should also ask if they have allergies to certain foods.

**Example: Once I went on a group date where we had a barbecue. My friend Kimball's date couldn't eat gluten and I was impressed when I found out that he had made special arrangements for making and serving food that she could eat.

... back to my date.
After eating ice cream, he played guitar and we sang together.

8. this is a repeat of #6. He did his research (or made a lucky guess). I love music and I love to sing, so this activity was appropriate for my interests. Also, what girl doesn't want to be serenaded by a man with some smooth vocal and guitar skills?

At the end of the date he walked me across the street, right up to my front door. (None of that "I'll drop you at the curb, say: 'see ya!' and leave" stuff for him. He was gentleman).

And there you have it. My favorite date, thus far.


When it comes down to it, the most important thing is to be creative. Dates don't have to be expensive to be fun. :)


-Lady L.

Wednesday, March 20, 2013

How to get a date in 2 hours

.. And two hours later we were eating at Slab Pizza.

*no guarantee of exact results, but--hey!--it's worth trying.

My friends like to make fun of me for where I sit in the library. The  __ floor apparently has a reputation for being the place where single people go to get dates. (It's not true! If you want a date, wear pink in the periodicals...) Well, I happen to go the __ floor because it has good lighting, not because I'm looking for a date.

...But a date is definitely a bonus! If there are people sitting at my table, I'm going to talk to them! I'm a friendly person and I like making friends. I'm telling you, EXPANDING YOUR CIRCLES IS A GOOD THING FOR INCREASING DATING OPPORTUNITIES, PEOPLE. So, if it means striking up a conversation with the strange person sitting across from you, do it.

Even if you don't think you'd be interested in dating a person, making friends is always a good idea. Because it's very possible--no, probable--that they have friends. ;)

Before you get too excited I should tell you: I talk to people all the time, and I can tell you that it doesn't always result in a date.

But one time it did.



I sat at the table with a cute redhead. I asked if I could sit at his table, he said "of course." I took out my laptop and my books and started reading.

I looked up and noticed he was wearing a t-shirt from Mount Rushmore.  *Mustered some courage*

I asked him, "So are you from South Dakota?"

***Before you laugh, just remember that it worked.

He laughed. "No, I've been to Mount Rushmore before!"

We talked.
I found out where he's actually from.

I went back to my reading.

We talked again.
I found out what he was working on at the moment, which led to a discussion of his major.

. . . And so on and so forth.

When I started packing up he asked if I was leaving. I said I was. He said "I think I'll go take my test now, I've done as much studying as I can take!"

He and I walked out of the library together. He asked me where I lived. He asked me if I'd had dinner. (Girls, say no even if you have! Especially if it's Brad Pitt, lie to him.  Just kidding. You can always suggest that you go out another night. That's better than eating when you don't need to.)

He asked if I'd like to get dinner. (Girls, say yes. If you aren't interested you don't have to say yes, but please keep in mind that this man was brave enough to ask you out. Treat him kindly.)

Good luck,

Lady L.

Thursday, March 7, 2013

How to Tell if You've Been "Friend Zoned"

The scenario: He took you out on a few dates, you had fun, but a couple of weeks later, something's different.

Girl, you've been put in the FRIEND ZONE.
1. He texts you sometimes, but frequently stops mid-conversation
2. He makes plans to take you out, then "forgets" about them because he was busy. (Girls, if he forgot about your date, he wasn't that interested and you should move on--he's not worth your time, you deserve a man who will pursue you)
3. On the night you were supposed to go out he asks "what are you up to?" then proceeds to tell you about how he's spending his only free night of the week with his roommates
4. He's stops making plans with you
5. He talks about other girls when you're around him
6. He asks if he can ask out your best friend
7. Girls, if he's still texting you, don't bother--this is going nowhere.

"I'm too BUSY to Date!"

It's college life, people are busy making plans, they're planning for tomorrow's homework assignment or next week's midterm or the end-of-semester final or an internship or a big project at work or an application into a special program or grad school.

Life's busy, it's a fact.

What I think a lot of young men (and young ladies) don't understand is that life will continue to be busy--for the rest of your life! If you don't make time for dating, it may never happen. (Que the ominous music)

---------

Shawn and Shelly met in a dance class. Shawn liked Shelly, so he asked her out on a date. On a Friday night they made dinner at her apartment together, then Shawn and Shelly rode the Front Runner to Salt Lake City to see the lights and take fun photos and sip hot chocolate and eat fancy desserts. Shelly had a fabulous time and was eager to see Shawn again after Thanksgiving break.

During Thanksgiving break Shelly only heard from Shawn once. She was worried that Shawn might not want to see her again after the break. But she kept her head on and waited to see what would happen when she returned to Provo. A week or two passed and she didn't hear from Shawn. She saw him once or twice on campus, but he seemed distant. She was confused because she was pretty sure that Shawn had been interested before the date, during their date, and during Thanksgiving break when they talked on the phone.

One day, Chad, Shawn's best friend,  approached Shelly and jokingly asked "So, how's Shawn?" he added a wink. Shelly told Chad that it had been a while since she had seen Shawn and she wasn't sure he wanted to see her. Chad assured her that Shawn was interested in her, but that he probably just felt like he didn't have time to date. Shawn felt that pursuing Shelly would be unfair to her, because he knew it would turn into a relationship, and he knew he wouldn't have time for a relationship. Yada yada yada.

STOP RIGHT THERE, SHAWN.

First things first.

Girls understand that you're busy, most likely, they're busy too. It might be hard, but it's important to make time for people in your life. Whether Shawn realized it or not, Shelly would be perfectly happy being in a relationship with him, even if it meant spending a lot of time together studying in the library.

Dates don't have to be time consuming, expensive, or exhausting.

Think about it, people have to eat. Solution to the "I don't have time to date" problem? Make dinner together, or if you don't have time to make it, go out. If you're dating, take turns making dinner for each other (It can be nice to have someone help you out with the cooking--especially when you're so busy studying for that upcoming midterm)

I guess it comes down to reassessing priorities. Do you or do you not value relationships (family relationships, friendly relationships, romantic relationships)? If you do, make time for them; the other things will work out.



Just some thoughts,

Lady L.